Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
