dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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