I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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