do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
