Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
