talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
