yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
