Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
