So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How external is "for external use only"?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
