we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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