Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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