the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
