Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
