I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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