Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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