But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
