Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
