I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
