i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
