we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
cat food counts as protein by the way
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
