So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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