Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
