Welp...herpes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
