READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
