After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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