oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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