You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Bring me that man meat
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
