i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize