The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We have started to decorate penises.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
