A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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