As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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