just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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