For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
