This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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