Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
