just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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