Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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