You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
