Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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