Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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