wanna go halves on a baby?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize