whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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