All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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