I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
