I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
