you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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