check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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