dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
