The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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