DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
