That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
