i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
