margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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