I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
