Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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