Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize