When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
