the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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