he puts the penis in happiness.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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